Collection 13

Late for school

Teacher: Why are you so late, Jack?

Jack: It was very late when I left home.

Teacher: So why did not you leave home earlier[1]?

Jack: It was already too late to leave early, mam.

 

 

Paddy and Murphy jokes

 

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- Paddy and Murphy are walking through a forest, and they see a sign saying, "THREE FELLAS WANTED[2]."

- Paddy looks at Murphy and says, "What a shame there's only two of us."

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- Paddy and Murphy were walking past the local police station when they saw a sign saying, "SCOTTISH RAPIST[3] WANTED."

- Paddy turns to Murphy and says, "Don't the Scots get all the good jobs?"

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Paddy and Murphy were walking through a field and Paddy said, "Can you see that forest over there?" Murphy replied, "No, those trees are in the way[4]."

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[1] earlier - раньше 

[2] wanted - разыскиваются

[3] rapist - насильник

[4] those trees are in the way - эти деревья мешают