Americans laugh at… Американские анекдоты

А.В. Шереметьева

Данная книга представляет собой сборник современных американских анекдотов.
Для всех интересующихся юмором и английским языком.

Год издания : 2004
Стр. : 128
Формат :
ISBN : 5-8053-0445-7
Артикул : I-0445-7
Стандарт в пачке : 24
Цена : 36
Раздел : Иностранные языки

Интернет-магазин издательства "Лицей"

Американские анекдоты

"You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes, because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."

***
Young son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: "That happens in every country, son."

***
A man inserted an advertisment in the classified ads¹, "Wife wanted²." The next day he recieved a hundred letters. They all said the same thing, "You can have mine."
________________________________________________________________
1 classified ads - тематические объявления в газете
2 Wife wanted. - Ищу жену.

*** - Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
- They already have boyfriends.
*** - What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
- A widow.

Smart cat
A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid¹ of him one day by driving him 20 blocks² from his home and leaving him at the park.
As he was getting home the cat was walking up the driveway³.
The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast⁴ out and headed home⁵.
Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!
He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home⁶. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again, and another right until he reached where he thought was a safe distance⁷ from his home and left the cat there.
Hours later the man calls home to his wife, "Jen, is the cat there?"
"Yes," the wife answeres, "why do you ask?"
Frustrated⁸, the man answered, "Put that rascal⁹ on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!"
__________________________________________
1 to get rid of smb. - избавляться от кого- либо
2 block - квартал
3 driveway - дорога
4 beast - животное, зверь
5 to head home - направиться домой
6 would always beаt him home - всегда оказывался дома раньше него
7 safe distance - безопасное расстояние
8 frustrated - расстроенный, разочарованный
9 rascal - подлец

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